二、结构合理,内容充实
一篇好作文首先要有合理的结构,如果把一篇文章比作一个人,那么结构就是骨骼,语言、材料是血肉。没有健壮、分布合理的骨骼,血肉就无所依附,灵魂也就无处寄托,由此可见结构的重要性。文章的结构是文章内容的基础,是作者写作思路的体现。文章的内容要通过组织安排才能更合理地表达出来,文章的主题也可以通过结构加以凸现。 高考英语书面表达要求短文结构完整,内容充实。在段落划分恰当、布局合理的基础上,考生应根据主题恰当地组织材料,用具体的、充实的细节信息为框架提供有力的支撑。如果短文空话连篇,言之无物,写出的作文很难打动人。
【典例2】假如你叫李华。最近,你的外国笔友Tom发来一封电子邮件,询问你心仪的大学。请根据下面的写作提纲,给他回复一封电子邮件。内容包括: 1.介绍你心仪的大学; 2.为什么想上这所大学; 3.你打算如何实现你的梦想。 注意:1.词数100左右;2.可以适当增加细节,以使行文连贯。
【思路分析】根据题干可知,本文应由三个段落组成。第一段陈述写作背景和写作目的:对方在邮件中询问自己心仪的大学,为此回信告诉对方自己最想上哪一所大学。第二段是主体部分,也是写作的重点:告诉对方为何选择上那所大学。此外,还应谈谈打算怎么实现自己的梦想。第三段是结论段,总结前文,呼应主题。
【学生习作】
Dear Tom, My dream college is Tsinghua University. I choose it because it ranks first among the best universities in China. I like it because of its strong academic atmosphere and beautiful campus. From now on, I will change my point of view to study. First, practice makes perfect, so Ill do lots of practice to improve my skills. Moreover, I will ask some meaningful questions to make myself clear about the knowledge I am learning. If I were not to be admitted into it, I will also benefit a lot from the process of realizing my dream.
Yours,Li Hua
【名师点拨】
第一段应首先陈述写信的背景和写信的目的。考生直接告诉对方自己心仪的学校是清华大学,短文的结构非常不合理。第一段可改为:In your email you asked me which university I want to go after graduation from high school. Now Im writing to share with you my dream university. Dogs are loyal friends.属狗的人忠于朋友。 第二段考生应陈述心仪的大学是清华大学、对清华大学情有独钟的原因以及如何努力争取考入清华。学生习作正文第二段的内容比较松散,不够具体,连贯性和逻辑性较差。第二段可改为:My dream university is Tsinghua University. The reasons are as follows: first of all, Tsinghua University ranks first among universities in China because of its academic atmosphere. Second, many famous scientists who graduated from Tsinghua University have made great contributions to our society. I know it is hard to be admitted into Tsinghua University, but I will work hard at my lessons. I am sure my dream will come true if I try really hard. 习作的第三段没有总结前文、突出主题,可改为:Such is my dream university. What about yours?